


I need you, without you I can’t breathe

by jaybleep



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Domestic, Explicit Language, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Side Markjin, Smut, Teasing, Tropes, tbh dont judge me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-11-12 14:53:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11164194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaybleep/pseuds/jaybleep
Summary: “Missed you.” He presses his forehead into Jackson’s soft hair, whispers into the smaller boy’s ear. “Missed you so much.”“Me too, baby.” Jackson assures back, the type of fierce fervor in his words that could mean nothing but the truth.Jaebum groans because he fucking loves when Jackson calls him that.





	1. miss me?

Jaebum passes his fingertips against the stray hairs near the back of his head, lets his hand drift until his fingers are curling over the clasp of his necklace against his nape. He can feel his back start to ache and shifts on the rather uncomfortable interview couch, trying not to look like as exhausted as he feels. Jaebum’s entire body aches. It's been such a long day and all his body wants is collapse like dead weight on his hotel bed. Considering he’s having a pretty hard time not falling asleep right now, he lets his mind wonder to anything else.

Jackson’s wearing his jacket today. It’s a deep brown that the fencer must have dug out of his closet before he’d left for Hong Kong a week earlier than them, ‘cause Jaebum can’t remember the last time he’s worn it. The color reflects the same shade in Jackson’s eyes. The brown makes his skin look that much deeper, that much more toned, and Jaebum’s been having heart palpitations about it since he’d first seen him. There’s something about the jacket, or really the fact that it’s Jaebum’s and how it hangs and clings to Jackson very much like Jaebum wants to.

This morning Jaebum had been the first one up—this whole week it’s been hard to sleep without Jackson—brushed his teeth 6:30am and been about to take a shower when Jackson came strolling in with coffee, and the brightest, sweetest smile on his face.

Jaebum has never felt so much in a few seconds. Confusion. Joy. Need.

It takes a moment or two of long, meaningful staring before they realize they’re finally in front of each other again after 7 days of torturous distance.

“Come here,” Jaebum tells him immediately, voice still hoarse from sleep.

When Jackson decides to set down the coffee first Jaebum closes the distance himself, draping one arm over Jackson’s shoulders and other on his waist, pressing Jackson into his chest. He feels Jackson nudge his neck with his forehead and the softest press of his lips on his shoulder. Jaebum could almost cry with how much he’d craved this all week, Jackson’s sigh on his neck and his hands clasping against his back.

“Missed you.” He presses his forehead into Jackson’s soft hair, whispers into the smaller boy’s ear. “Missed you so much.”

“Me too, baby.” Jackson assures back, the type of fierce fervor in his words that could mean nothing but the truth.

Jaebum groans because he fucking loves when Jackson calls him that.

He’s always liked Jackson’s voice the best like this, warm and private, deep and driven, for his ears only. Jackson has a way of making people’s heart beat a little faster—a iridescent type of lure people just naturally follow. Here, like this, with his limbs curled into Jaebum until they are just skin and breath, he is only Jackson. _His_ Jackson. Here with his hair tickling Jaebum’s jaw and his fingers tracing blindly over the planes of the taller boy’s back—he is Jackson in the most raw form. The rustle of sounds trickled in from the other rooms and Jaebum wished desperately that Youngjae wasn’t still asleep in his room. Jaebum pulls away just as Jackson’s lips start leaving a wet path of kisses along his jaw. Jackson stared into him with open lust. His soft, warm skin, dilated pupils—nearly begging.

Jaebum knows Jackson wants to kiss, can feel it in the way he’s alternating from looking at his lips to staring up at him with puppy eyes. He wants Jackson’s hot, needy mouth sucking at his too, been looking forward to sliding his hand from Jackson’s waist to his perfect ass and squeezing. But, shit, he can’t. _Can’t_.

With the gentlest touch, Jaebum squeezes Jackson’s waist. “I know, but any second one of those brats are gonna wonder out here.”

Jackson laughs, but the sound is as bitter as Jaebum feels. “Maybe—”

_“JACKSON HYUNG IS THAT YOU??”_

  
Jaebum comes back to himself, tries to focus on the interview at hand.

The interviewer is reading an SNS question with mild amusement, turning to Jackson and speaking so fast Jaebum has no hope of deciphering the Cantonese. Either the question is funny or the MC has let out her umpteenth “joke” of the night because Jackson laughs hard, tilts his whole body back in his seat until the elegant defined column of his neck is on full view.

Jaebum catches the MC’s eyes rake down Jackson’s body in a way he’s familiar with—because often he finds himself doing it—and can barely contain his annoyance when the woman has the nerve to lean over and clasp Jackson’s bicep. Jaebum knows that she probably feels the compacted muscle under her hand, skin warm even through Jackson's shirt. Leader watches Jackson try to shift the hand off, though he doesn’t seem perturbed when his efforts go to waste. Jackson’s pleasant expression doesn’t change, and he obviously doesn’t mind it, so really Jaebum has no reason to feel the scathing _get the fuck off of him_ he wants to say.

Jackson’s playful eyes glance over to meet his as the off screen translator is explaining a question, and he doesn’t have time to soften his expression from the narrow-eyed displeasure he feels. Suddenly Jackson looks crushed, the velvet lines of his brows drawing together like he’s confused but sorry. All of it just makes Jaebum that much angrier, clenching his jaw because he just can’t help it, because here he goes being a head case and making Jackson look like he wants to get up in front of everyone and crawl into his lap to apologize.

“I don’t get it? How is that funny?” Bambam complains from Jackson’s side, and this is probably the fifth time he’s whined about not understanding in the past 30 minutes.

“Last question, for Leader JB.” The MC’s smile falters a little when she turns to Jaebum, and honestly it’s unsurprising to know the dislike is mutual. She speaks in Cantonese and before the translator can say anything Jaebum feels Jackson’s warm palm burning into his thigh, squeezing gently. He’s bending over Mark, Jinyoung and Yugyeom just to touch him and Jaebum has never seen anyone more adorable than Jackson Wang.

“Hyung she said…she asked who made the prettiest girl, you know, when we all dressed up.”

“Me, of course!” Youngjae insists.

“Yeah, you were a real sight. I think I almost hit on you…” Yugyeom laughs until Youngjae smacks him.

Jaebum’s lips twitch in a smile at their banter, wondering exactly what kind of answer to give. Jackson was suddenly very interested in his shoes.

  
“You were all pretty ugly…” Jaebum tilts his head wonderingly, eyes fondly trailing from Jackson’s forehead to his cheekbones to his lips.

“Youngjae the least ugly, I guess.”

His answer hovers in the air, Youngjae hollering in victory, and Jaebum’s heart twisting the exact second Jackson realizes he hadn’t been chosen.

His head shot up so fast everyone turned to look at him, laughing at his pout.

“You’re such a big baby, I swear.” Jinyoung criticized, reaching out to comfort Jackson who looks a little too much like he's planning something. 

Jaebum has a feeling Jackson's going to be making him regret saying that. 


	2. how it starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback chapter—
> 
> Jackson can feel himself getting hard—too hard for how drunk he is, honestly, but Jaebum always makes his body react.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next few chaps are flashback chapters because everyone needs to know these two weren't simple about admitting they like each other.

Jackson tries the apartment code four times before he actually gets it right and that is a miracle within itself because, well, he’s drunk. 

The kind of drunk he never gets, the kind drunk he’s already regretting with every bone in his body. Maybe it’s his disoriented brain or his stiff limbs but he has to sit on the floor to get his shoes off. The apartment is dark and dead silent, everyone having went to bed hours ago. One of his friends had begged him to come out tonight, and he’d been saying no for months and shit he felt like a bad friend. Maybe…maybe he also went because Jaebum had told him he had a date tonight—because he’d have gone crazy sitting at home knowing Jaebum was making some girl incredibly happy. Fuck. Jackson stretches out until he’s laying on the floor near the foyer, wonders if he can just fall asleep here, except the uncomfortable numbness in his spine immensely opposes the idea. 

The rapper tries to be quiet, keeps the murmur of his drunken attempt at peeing to a hush. His footsteps are heavy with fatigue but as he pauses in front of Jaebum’s door—suddenly he can’t stop thinking that maybe the vocalist had spent the night elsewhere. Jackson obviously isn’t thinking when his fingers clutch the doorknob and yank it open. He stumbles and pauses when it gives away easily, clearly unlocked. Jaebum never leaves it unlocked—especially when he’s sleeping. 

“Shit,” Jackson mumbles, stepping into the dark room and over to the shape outlined in the white sheets. For reasons he hates, his heart feels lighter knowing Jaebum had come home. The bedroom door slams with the backward slide of his foot, much louder that he expected. 

Jackson startles for a second when Jaebum rolls over to face him—ready to piss himself—but Jaebum just groans, eyes still closed. Jackson can hardly believe how adorable the older man looks. With sleep, the sharp stunning angles of his face are softened. His hair is a mess, an utter mess—straight at some ends and curling in others, mostly falling into his eyes. 

With the heat of the season Jaebum was bare chested, the sight of his broad shoulders and lean upper body on full view with the covers drawn down to his hips. 

Jackson can feel himself getting hard—too hard for how drunk he is, honestly, but Jaebum always makes his body react. 

_I’m being so fucking creepy,_ Jackson thinks, knowing he should close the door and go to his room. 

After a few seconds Jackson finally orders his body to move, turning to leave when he hears a faint voice. “Jackson..Jackson?” 

_ Shitfuckmotherfucking— _

“Oh, hyung,” Jackson rotates on his heels, trying not to sound like he’d spent the last five minutes watching him sleep. 

Jaebum sits up in the center of his bed, tilting his head in confusion yet showing so much fucking skin Jackson can feel his dick throb. 

“What are you doing in here?” 

“I..I wanted to make sure—” Jackson falters, realizing the truth makes him look pathetic. 

“Make sure of what? Did something happen? Jackson.” Jaebum clears his throat because his words are coming out deep and hoarse, and it’s hot, but Jackson really wants to bolt before he has to admit to being a fucking creep in the middle of the night. 

“Jackson,” Jaebum repeats softly, undoubtably sensing how freaked out Jackson is. “Have you been drinking?” 

Jackson hesitates, hoping he won’t slur his words too much. “Kind of. I mean yeah. Yes. I know I said I was staying in today but Jooheon called me and—” 

“It’s okay, can you come here?” 

Jackson’s lips part but no sound comes out, let alone words. He reaches up to tug not so gentle on his hair. 

“Uh..why?” 

“Because you need to sleep, and I don’t want drowning in your own vomit ‘cause you're too lazy to roll over.” 

Jackson swallows, his heart pounding a rhythm in his chest. “You want me to sleep in your bed?” 

“Yes. I’m worried, Jackson.” 

Jackson walks over and Jaebum shifts to make plenty of room for the smaller man. Jackson sighs when his heavy head meets the pillow, smelling Jaebum’s favorite cologne and shampoo. 

“So fucking good,” Jackson turns his face into the pillow, nearly forgetting Jaebum until he hears his soft laugh next to him. 

“Do you need help with this?” Jaebum rasps, and before Jackson could ask what he is referring to he feel Jaebum’s warm hands on his belt, knuckles brushing over the fabric of his crotch and Jackson’s very hard dick. 

Jaebum inhales sharply, pulling his hands away the same second Jackson bolts up, the action making him very dizzy but not deterring him from his path to the door. 

“Wait!” 

Jackson doesn’t stand a chance when Jaebum to comes running. He is completely caught off guard when Jaebum yanks the door shut and bodily turns him so his back presses against it. 

“Please, I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry, I was just trying—.” 

Jackson stares at him with narrowed eyes. The moonlight from the bedroom window beautifully accents the bridge of Jaebum’s nose and the curve of his lips. It isn't fucking fair, how good he looks when he’s flustered and worried. Jackson stands there with the tiniest space separating him from Jaebum’s bare chest. He’s terrified to look down. 

“I know what you were trying to do, okay? It should be me apologizing.” 

“Jackson, it’s totally natural. If you think I’m judging you—I’m not.” 

“Wait, what?” 

“That, er, your erection—” Jaebum starts and stops himself, obviously feeling embarrassed but there is a determination in his eyes. Jackson can’t fucking believe this. “You were probably thinking about something, I don’t know, uh anyway I mean…I get it, okay?” 

He’s staring at Jackson, eyes firmly not leaving his face despite the fact that Jackson’s been staring at his chest the whole time. 

“I’m tired, you’re drunk, can we please go to sleep?” 

* * *

As soon as Jackson peels his eyes open he knows it’s too early. He would have gone right back to sleep if the very clear memory of last night didn’t come flooding in like the unwanted intruder it was. 

Truly, one of his most embarrassing yet.

Cursing in multiple languages, Jackson reaches down to adjust his dick in his pants. He wonders if he’s still drunk because only then does he notice the hand on his waist. With the haze of sleep gone, suddenly he’s very aware of the breath tickling his neck and entire fucking body behind him. Not just anybody. Jaebum’s. Jaebum’s body was not only pressed to his, but his pants were doing nothing to dull the length of Jaebum’s cock against his ass. 

Jackson moans, low and husky, 'cause Jaebum’s dick is hard and bigger than he actually expected. Fuck, he’s been dreaming of this for three years, okay? _I really shouldn’t_ , Jackson thinks himself as he swipes his tongue over his dry lips, shifting his ass against Jaebum’s dick. 

He stops at the sound of hitched breath and a soft growl, fully expecting Jaebum to push him off the bed and kick him out. Except all he feels is leader’s knee sliding between his thighs, the hand on his waist moving under his shirt to his sweaty chest. Jaebum pulls him until their bodies are glued together, his face pressing into his hair. 

“Oh god,” Jackson gasps. “Hyung?” 

Jaebum jerks his hips back, Jackson’s ass missing him immediately. 

_Shit._

Jackson proceeds—a little too desperately—to leave. He tugs Jaebum’s hand out of his shirt and throws himself to the door. 

“Wait,” Jaebum whispers. 

Jackson is already gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh~


	3. Find You

As soon as Jackson’s feet meet the carpet of his bedroom he locks the door behind him. Contrary to Jaebum he hardly ever locks his room, always happy to have the members in his space, but the footsteps he hears in the hallway make his stomach twist with nausea. That might also be the beginnings of his hangover. The question of how he is going to manage not showing his face around Jaebum ever again swirled in his head like a drain, only serving to make his head pound. 

Jackson hates that he wonders if he shouldn’t have left. Because of course he should have left—it was the right choice, the _only_ choice. Jackson’s fingers rake through the damp locks of his hair a little too roughly, but it distracts a little from the overwhelming embarrassment at his actions. 

He couldn’t even pretend like he didn’t remember last night because lying to Jaebum was nothing short of impossible. 

Jackson settles against the wall of his bedroom for a moment as he removes his jeans and wrinkled shirt, noting how he smells like soju and Jaebum and smiles weakly.The smile quickly wilts as he realizes the only way he can shower is passing Jaebum’s room again.

Things were so much simpler for him before he’d developed deeper feelings for the leader. Jackson remembers when Jaebum was just the hot-tempered b-boy who he had fun making blush, barely a blimp on his radar of worries and overwhelming struggles. 

Then suddenly those long, dark nights of aching joints in all the wrong places ended with Jaebum’s soft, soothingvoice that worked better than any balm he’d ever tried. Jaebum had always been his salvation when things became too much too quickly. The thought of taking advantage of that fills Jackson to the brim with shame and guilt, because here he was ruining one of the most important relationships in his life. All because he’s in love with him. 

All because he wants _more._

His poor hyung probably wasn’t even fully awake, let alone aware of the fire he was lighting under Jackson’s skin. Not that it mattered anyway.Jaebum never noticed, even when Jackson was falling apart in front of him. 

He couldn’t actually want Jackson, right? The man had been on a date just last night. 

Jackson sighs, deciding to go back to sleep for now. He knows he’ll have to avoid Jaebum until he can sum up the courage to swallow the last tattered bits of dignity. 

Jackson buries himself in his own familiar sheets. He only manages two more hours before his brain starts to think him out of his fitful sleep. He thinks of jaebum’s wide chest pressed flush to his back, those sinful lips trailing along his neck. He can’t stop replaying every second of Jaebum’s hands on him, how firm and sure they were sliding along his body.

He moans and thrust into the thin blanket, not even knowing when he got so hard. Jackson palms his erection, the heat of it burning into his palm. 

“Fuck,” Jackson whispers, then even lower adds, “ _fuck you jaebum!_ ”

* * *

 

Jackson hears the patter of bare feet from where he sits at the table, absently focusing on the shapes of his cereal swirling in his milk. It’s still the morning, and with their day off he expected everyone to sleep in. He can feel his ears burning, hoping to every god it’s not Jaebum. 

“You okay?” 

Jackson looks up to see Mark standing there in his wrinkled sleep shirt, his dark brows furrowed in concern. 

“Yeah,” Jackson sighs. 

“Okay so…why do you look Coco ate your plant?” Mark mutters, passing Jackson to grab a bowl for himself. 

The younger shifts uncomfortably in his seat, deciding to play it off. “Cause that little beast did. He _murdered_ Bob.”

Mark tilts his head slightly, dark hair bangs falling lightly across his forehead. Jackson wonders what he sees staring at him like that, because after a couple minutes he pours milk into his bowl casually. 

“Is it Jaebum?” He whispers.

“Ya!” Jackson jumps up from his seat, feeling like all the breath has been stolen from his lungs for some reason. “Just because I told you that one time..it doesn't always mean…”

The brown of Mark’s eyes sparkled in amusement. “Of course not, Gaga.” 

After a second, Mark continues. “Jaebum wants you too, Jackson. He’s just an idiot. Have you seen the way he stares at you?”

Jackson’s stomach writhes uncomfortably. As much as he wants it to be true, Jackson has a hard time believe that’s reality. 

“Do I,” Jackson turned to face Mark with revenge in his eyes, “ask you if it’s Jinyoung every time something is up?” 

Mark cringes visibly, his face turning a darker shade of pink than the fencer expected. 

“If what’s me? I’ll have you know I didn’t do anything to hyung.” Jinyoung sniffs in indignation, walking into the kitchen and feeling like he’s been accused of something he _obviously_ didn’t do. 

“Speak of the devil,” Jackson drawls, settling back into his seat with telling smirk. 

Jinyoung is freshly washed and shaved, dressed in a shirt and jeans so pristine Jackson’s got a feeling he’s been ironing them for the past 10 minutes. 

The actor shift his gaze from Jackson to Mark, crossing his arms. “Did I do something, hyung?” 

“No, Jinyoung.” Mark’s voice was a soft, wilted version of his previous tone. Jackson notices Mark’s eyes haven’t even left Jinyoung’s pursed lips. 

God, does he look like that when he’s talking to Jaebum? Pathetic. 

“Whatever,” Jackson says, dropping his bowl in the sink and looking back when Jinyoung actually doesn’t to tell him wash it. Instead he’s leaning every bit too close to Mark. 

“What are you doing today, hyung?” Jinyoung asks sweetly. 

“Me?” Mark asks shakily. He blinked owlishly, lips parting. “I was just going to play some games with Youngjae…” 

Jackson marched back to his room before his cereal came back up. 

* * *

 

At 3am Jaebum comes home from the studio and finds Jackson’s lean body curled into itself, fast asleep on the couch. The heavy rain pelted steadily outside, somehow matching the ebb and fall of the fencer’s chest is an a peaceful rhythm of breath, dark lashes flickering just slightly.

Jaebum’s dark eyes lock on Jackson’s face, trailing over the gentle curve of his jaw and reliving the ecstasy of the rapper's strong lithe body writhing against his. He tells himself there is nothing wrong with waking him up, he’ll have a kink in his neck in the morning if he doesn’t. Really, he’s only doing his leader duties….

Tentatively, Jaebum kneels beside the couch, his fingers gently smoothing the hair from Jackson’s face, enticing a low hum from the smaller man. 

“Jackson,” Jaebum calls softly, and then a little louder. “You can’t sleep here.” 

Jackson’s breath comes a little fast as he angles his head further into Jaebum’s hand, the muscles in his neck stretching as he whipped his head in Jaebum’s direction—sleep hazed eyes seeking his. Jaebum felt his chest expand with deep, painfully harsh breath. At first Jackson looked startled to see him there, as any person would, but eventually something else began to glint in Jackson’s eyes. There was something about the tenderness which Jackson takes him in. Assessing the dull black, short sleeved shirt he’d worn to the studio and his matching red basketball shorts. Jackson’s tongue reached out to slide against pouty outline of his bottom lip, leaving it to glisten in the darkness. 

He was so close that Jaebum could feel the heat from his body. 

Jaebum slid his arm around Jackson’s waist, fingers catching more t-shirt than skin, and moved him until he was sitting up on the couch. Jackson flailed a little in his arms, hands digging into Jaebum’s bicep until he let him go. 

Jaebum’s brows furrowed at the sudden look in Jackson’s gaze. 

“Hyung,” he said, fingernails still stinging Jaebum’s skin, “Can I kiss you?” 

Jaebum froze, his brain crashing in a frenzied haste to figure out if he’d completely misheard, the only sound in the living room becoming the now distant sound of falling rain. 

“Shit. That was supposed to come out better! Well…completely understandable if…you’re totally allowed to say no. I mean—”

Jaebum’s eyes wandered searchingly over Jackson’s face, trying to find a sign that Jackson was joking with him. But all he could read was embarrassment and truth in Jackson features, and Jaebum felt his heart was beating so fast his ears were vibrating with the sound. 

And then he lurched forward. 

Which, he should have reconsidered. His lips did reach their intended target—landing warm and steady against Jackson’s slightly parted ones. But he bumped his knee against the wood of the couch making him cuss and Jackson laughing against his lips. The kiss was slow and chaste at first, the energy around them shifting in a way that made Jaebum’s whole body humm with the pleasure of having Jackson close. 

Jackson’s hand slid from jaebum’s cheek to his slightly stubbled jaw before trailing into his hair. It felt good, really good. Jaebum gently slipped his tongue past the steam of Jackson’s lips. The sound of Jackson’s soft, contented sigh like fire in his stomach. Jackson tasted like strawberries and Jaebum was left without a shred of self control. Jackson arched his back, pressing forward until his chest was flush to Jaebum’s shoulders. Jaebum groaned against the slide of jackson’s wet and needy lips, hands gliding up grip the back of Jackson’s neck. 

Jackson pulled back from Jaebum’s mouth, needing a minute to breathe properly. His heart pounded, cheeks blazing in the dim glow of filtered light. 

Jaebum stayed close, refusing to let Jackson out of the cage of his arms. After a second Jaebum pressed a gentle kiss to Jackson’s sweaty forehead but unable to regret it when he leaned back to see Jackson beaming up at him. 

Jackson looked gloriously revenged. He laughed, but it came out a little to high.

The rapper cleared his throat. “Wow, who is this and what did you do to hyung?”

Jaebum couldn’t help but look at him fondly. ”You," he said, his eyes following Jackson with amused intensity. “seriously had no idea?” 

“Nope!” Jackson declared happily, leaning in for another kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> ....gay and self indulgent...my usual MO


End file.
